plugged up

I snore, so I got Sam some earplugs to wear. He'll put them in at night only to find them out in the morning, but we know they aren't falling out, because they'll be placed neatly, side by side on his nightstand. Apparently he can take them out in his sleep. He doesn't do it as much now that he knows about it, but they still fall out on their own sometimes. This morning I found one of his earplugs in the bed, so I tried to see if I could put it back in his ear without him noticing. As you can imagine, I was not very successful.

Clementine.

Tamsen leaves a bit earlier for work than I do, so she wakes me up and gives me a goodbye kiss before she goes. She usually says something goofy, too. This morning, she was singing, "Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my daaaaaaarling Sam-u-el."

I got up enough to give her a kiss and tried to think of something clever I could say back. After a bit of thinking, I settled on, "Don't be lost and gone forever, blah blah blah, blah, blah blah blah." Not that clever, but it would do for first thing in the morning.

Except I didn't hear her respond. I opened my eyes and found that a full 20 minutes had passed since she left.

The sea monkey has my money OR Tales of sleep talkers

A while ago I came into our room and started talking with Sam, only to find that he wasn't really awake. But he'd been talking back. I didn't know if he was sleep talking or what, so I decided to test him.

Me: Are you awake?

Sam: Yes.

Me: No you're not, you're asleep.

Sam: I am not asleep.

Me: You are too.

Sam (defensively): I am not!

Me: Okay then...what's your middle name?

Sam (a little too quickly): Sam!

Me (laughing): Your name is Sam Sam?

Sam: Wait, no. I meant...

Me: Ha! You are asleep. I knew it!

At this point all the talking made him wake up and he was sulky all over again (this time legitimately so) for being accused of being asleep when he wasn't. One of my sisters talked in her sleep growing up, which was maddening because as I was getting ready for bed I'd ask her something like "did you set the alarm?" and she'd assure me that she had when she actually hadn't. I used to grill her too, asking her if she was actually awake of not, but she was quite convincing and could carry on whole conversations, so I was often taken in. Although, that's nothing compared to my other sister who somehow managed to answer her phone in her sleep and talk to her best friend for 15 minutes before she realized anything was amiss. It went something like this-

H: Hello?

A: Hey, were you asleep?

H: (groggily defensive, because she actually is asleep) No! I'm awake.

A: (confused) Oh. Okay. How was the beach trip?


H went on to tell her all about the ward beach trip before introducing the subject of tigers.


H: And then we were divided into groups and we were the tigers.

A: Wait, what? After you got back you were tigers?

H: What? No, the tigers turned into T-shirts.

A: The tigers were T-shirts?

H: The T-shirts were T-shirts!

A: What T-shirts?

It was at this point that my sister woke up to find herself in mid conversation with a phone in her hand, and she very legitimately asked "Wait, what T-shirts?"